I’m taking a break from my studying for tomorrow’s (later’s) exam so I’m taking this chance to share a simple thought - one which I’ve been having since forever but never really as heavily as now. It’s a “life” thing… But the thought was triggered by a bag. Yes.

The other day, I bought a bag. It wasn’t the bag people who know me would think I’d own. It was “not-me” in every angle, but everyone has sides and stories unknown to others. This bag sort of represented that side of me.

(Inward, clockwise: (1) These are all the colors the bag came in. (2) Zipper wasn’t the cheap, almost plasticky kind. It’s really of a nice quality. That’s a big thing for me ‘cause nobody wants zippers opening on both sides or chewing on themselves! (3) Stitching is doubled! Perfect for someone like me who takes absolutely no care at pulling my bag from places! (4) The front lock is a charm! Zoom in to the button and you’ll see me taking a photo of it! HAHA! (5) Voila, my new bag, minus the hand and the shoulder strap.)

I won’t show the bag as a whole but I guarantee you guys, a hundred percent, that I’ve never owned something like this. Sure, I’ve used some from my mom’s bags, but never had my own. This. Is. A girly-girl bag! :-O

I am not the brand conscious type, and as long as the bag fits my (uuhhhmazing) Slate Planner, my camera, my pens, and as long as it’s stitched properly and has all its compartments secured (for commute purposes), then it’s good to go.

I got this from a department store, and I wish I knew the brand. It only had a plain tag with a sticker that had Chinese characters on it. Pretty weird for the store to handle such products, but they had tons of these character bag designs with the same tag on. Screw branding. Haha!

Displayed were 4 bags of the same design with different color combinations, this one (with brown, aqua, sea foam green, and orange) being just my second choice, to the one with yellow sides. I figured I’d dirty that quickly so I chose this instead.

It’s not expensive, but it’s worth beyond its value for how it looks so it makes me real proud having it at a good value. Plus! I really needed a bag.

I’m reminded of the reasons I don’t like shopping. Well, it is fun and there’s nothing wrong with it. It’s a good feeling - thrilling yourself with eyecandy and treating yourself with items in exchange of hard-earned (or easily handed) cash. But I guess I never really wanted to spoil myself with buying wants so much as buying needs.

Last week, I lost my favorite ring. It was given by John (which I sort of nagged him for, actually). It was a cheap ring so I knew it would tarnish within weeks. I spray painted it black last month since the silver was chipping off. HAHA! I had to do everything to keep it alive because I loved it dearly. Almost as an extension of me.

The day I lost it, I was with John. And as shallow as some may think it, I cried my heart out. He pulled me to the same shop where we got it so we could choose a new one but I kept telling him that wasn’t the point. He bought me Hokkaido from Serenitea, instead. That one, I wouldn’t let pass! Hahaha!

The same day, I lost my beaded, ethnic bracelet. It wasn’t a favorite but it meant a lot to me since it came from family.

On my way home, I thought of how nice it would have been to have sensors on all our important things so we could track them if they’d get lost. But all I could really think of was how everything in life is temporary.

No matter how important or how utterly useless things are, they are all equally temporary.

Call me sick and insane but the smallest moments like these ones really trigger my thoughts.

I don’t like shopping for wants because it only adds to the material things I know I might lose eventually after allowing them to become extensions of myself - parts of my being. It’s not something that will make me cry, just to make it clear, but it’s something I find no immediate purpose for.

This, of course, comes with no intention to offend the many people out there who love spending for new things. There is a form of happiness that goes with the things we love to do, and I respect that entirely. In fact, in an essence, I may not like it, but I still relate, totally. I guess, my joy in shopping is that part of finding meaning in myself.

Some people buy their stuff to look good, feel good, and create an impression. These things make them happy. Some people get into jobs just to earn a lot of money. And the money is used for stuff that they want. When they have those, they become happy.

But where do we go from here, people? Everyday, we wake up, do our routines, go to school to get a diploma, get a diploma to find the best job, find the best job to earn, earn to survive, survive to have the energy to work, work to get money, money to buy things to survive… When are we ever fully satisfied?

Even the richest people get hungry. Even if you have it all, you are never 100% satisfied.

So I’d like to take shortcuts. Perhaps the shortcut of getting a job that immediately makes me happy and not wait for the happiness attached to a paycheck; the shortcut of buying the things that immediately make me happy, doing activities that immediately make me smile, and spending time with the people who are the joys of my life.

These are good, happy shortcuts - shortcuts to joy. Not so much to satisfaction. Because these two may seem alike, but these are extremely different in nature.

And intentions? That’s another story.