If you follow the things I write here, you should know I have mentioned in one entry how I have 6 important men in my life - my dad, my Vincent, and 4 awesome soul mates.

“I do not know what force of the universe has drawn the 5 of them to my life, or how this force has drawn me into theirs. No matter, I’m glad I’ve got these boys to back me up and take good care of me and me to them.

As their chick amongst the dicks, their sister, their shoulder-to-secretly-cry-on-when-all-the-world-thinks-they-are-strong, their muse, their awkwardly random girl, I would proudly introduce them here on my blog one by one after my fieldwork.”

From the 4 soulmates, I choose to begin with two of them now. These two photos were taken yesterday @ CFC’s 30th Anniversary. These two people caught me by storm. Of the 4, they are the guys who have known me the shortest, but time definitely isn’t a measure.

(Pardon my sweat and my annoyingly confusing dimples)

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This is Arvin. He climbs scaffolding and fire exits to take his shots. He gives a lot in everything he does but it didn’t take much for him to get to know me.

We could be mistaken as a couple by anyone who wouldn’t observe much. The way we spend so much time with each other, just talking about life and love, passion and opinions, could be one reason. The way we never get tired of teasing each other and fighting over opinions on friendship and relationships could be another. Regardless, we remain a very unlikely tandem and I could not describe how important this guy is to me.

We met last year at a 7-day officers’ training. It wasn’t a predictable friendship, to be honest. In fact, I only clearly remember hitting him for being Dante’s accomplice in performing an annoying magic trick to me. The training ended without us even saying goodbye. Perhaps goodbyes aren’t our thing.

I do not remember how we grew to be this close after the training but I’m glad we did.

Arvin is one person who I feel I can share even my most embarrassing stories to. He never made me feel as if I were senseless and he always knew how to break me so I could learn.

We don’t agree on many things. I get mad at him for his moods. He is very stubborn and sometimes, he refuses to adjust to things that he should be open to. He makes a lot of things harder for himself to deal with and I scold him for that. When it comes to Arvin, I never want anything more than for him to just have fun with his life. No worries and no drama.

When it’s his turn getting angry, he does a pretty good job, too. He gets mad at me when I let my emotions flood my rationality. When I feel insecure, he gets really angry as if I had done an unforgivable crime. When I feel something I shouldn’t be feeling, he tells me what he thinks and makes me guilty about it. Then, he indirectly but constantly reminds me that I am special.

The things I had always known but needed to always be reminded, he did the reminding of! He was much like my conscience, my temperamental angel.

Thank you so much, Phil (“Phil” is a forced nickname from the word pillow. We call each other such because we used to sleep on each other on text every single night). You have always been there for me as I have wanted to be for you, too. Your words never fail to get to my heart in an instant. Even when you jokingly insult me, a faint whisper tells me it’s for my own good. When you attack me, it would always be for my sake.

You always reminded me to take care of my heart ‘cause I take too much risks. Maybe one thing we’d argue over is how I’d wish you would take more risks. You had put your heart in a cage for so long, now.

I know that very soon, I will be meeting that person who will teach your heart to take risks again. She will be very lucky to have you (but she should be very patient towards your drama HAHA!) And if you take care of her more than you have been taking care of me, then she must truly be blessed.

Until then, remember that I want to remain your friend, in good times and in bad. Forever, if possible. We will heal together, learn together, love together, take risks together, laugh together, cry together — as long as you don’t steal my slipper and toss it away from me like you did last time!

You do too many things and feel too many emotions to make your relationships perfect, but because I love you, let me tell you that you do not have to try so hard to create beautiful relationships. I wish you’d realize that you have so many people backing you up. Me, included.

You can always call me up for all your kilig moments and I won’t hesitate to shriek for you HAHAHA thank you for trusting me with your stories. Know that I’ve always trusted you with mine. I will invite you to my wedding and you must invite me in yours.

You have gained awesome photographs with effort, but you have effortlessly gained my trust.

I love you, Arvin! Don’t stress yourself too much. I got your back, no worries! (Insert big hug) :)

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This is the first photo of me and Lex together, ever! He takes the most amazing photos which are too awesome for my life! More than just scenes and shots, he captures moments. He captures emotion, he captures life. And just recently, he has captured me.

Lex and I hit off amazingly well just from the first time we spoke to each other. We have only known each other for a few months but our friendship has blossomed into what we would call a miracle - a pleasant surprise. What we have is indescribable. And it’s amazing how it’s only beginning.

This bunny (“bunny” ‘cause we knew each other on Easter) has an unconventional life. His story and his attitude sometimes amaze me, sometimes make me sad, and at other times irritate me. But, no matter how his stories make me feel, I realize right away that I can only feel so much of these because he has become so important to me.

Before, things never seemed they would end up like this. I admired him the first time I saw him but he was scared of me. It was at an event I was directing and while I secretly swooned over his long hair (yes i did hahaha bv), he despised me snobbish personality.

Maybe God had written a funny story for us. Maybe He wanted our story to start out like in the movies. He greeted me on my birthday but he didn’t even remember me. Who would have thought that while I was all giddy inside when we shook hands at the DAR Gym (Arvin introduced us to each other!), the encounter wouldn’t even stick to his memory.

Came Easter, all impressions made were gone. Easter was the first day we had a chance to talk, and it went on til today.

For a pretty 2-month period, Lex has already taught me how to love beyond the ways I used to know. I can’t thank God enough for this. He has trusted me with stories that, even though I knew he trusted to other people too, still made me feel special. He gave me a chance to take care of someone when I was struggling to find my place in service. When I lost sense of who to care for and how to do so, Lex was conveniently at arm’s reach. Lex is a gift.

The relationship I have with this guy is one of the many things I can’t seem to explain no matter how I try to. All I know is that I can no longer picture my life without him. He has truly made his mark, and I hope I’ve made mine in his life.

He always told me how special I am and how important our friendship has become for him. This was a relief. I would never know what to feel if I was the only one who treasured the friendship.

Lex, thank you for coming into my life. You have said so many sweet things to me that come just at the perfect time. You are the epitome of good timing (you know how much I hate bad timing!) You came in to my life when I though I didn’t need a new friend, and you made me realize there was still so much I had to learn.

I know that no matter how many times you’d tell me the famous “sasapakin kita bunny” line, you won’t do it because you love me. And no matter how you’d always say “ang taray mo,” “bakit ang sungit mo?” or “bully ka,” you would always say these with the intention of making me smile. I can never ask for more than this - my bunny wanting to make me smile.

Even if you keep teasing me for being so malapad, and even if you would constantly tell people to measure my forehead with their hands, I will not mind it at all. (Although, I might blurt out a little laughter which you would like, anyways.)

You might keep forcing me to cry in front of you, but I’m sorry, you will have to catch me. However, you don’t have to make me cry just so you can hug and comfort me. Lex, please know that you have already comforted me so many times :’)

Though I get really irritated when you get into your drama mode, please do not think that I’d slowly hate you. I will never. In fact, you have taught me to understand more when I thought I already knew how to, and to listen more when I thought I heard it all.

I love you, Bun. We need more than just one picture together! Thank you for being my miracle, for being my pleasant surprise. I hope I was yours, too. :)

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2 down. 2 to go. I am a muse, and I will remain proud of this.

Get ready for Exhibit B, featuring two of my long time lovers, J & M.